December First Entry two, I am making this additional entry because I feel I should make mention of a few things as well as provide my thoughts on an interesting matter. 

The first of these things is a short explanation about why I've established the previously mentioned precautions.

My family has a history of dabbling in the occult. 

My mother, for instance, once dabbled in the use of tarot cards, weegee boards, and seances. She has a slightly unsettling story of when she was in the eighth grade. While she was dreaming one evening a newspaper suddenly flashed in front of her with the words "DANGER WAKE UP DANGER WAKE UP" repeating across the front page. When she awoke there was what she describes as a "dark form" leaning over her bed looking at her.

My father has a story (I have not heard it personally, but my mother has and I heard it from her) or how he and a friend drew a demonic pentagram on the floor of a building. Apparently after they had finished its construction something(s) VERY BAD began happening, and they bolted from the scene.

As I have alluded to earlier I once did a great deal of research into the nature, history, reported happenings, and variations of the demonic pentagram and other related subjects. I attribute a great deal of my caution to both my knowledge of these subjects and my family's history.



The second topic I wish to write about is more of a story of... an... anomaly that Claire and I discovered some time between the fourteenth and sixteenth of November. Shortly after Claire's transformation to a more humanoid shape.

I was in wonderland sitting just upstream of the dam on the bank of the creek with my feet dangling in the water, as usual the sun was high in the sky. 

But while I was sitting there I spied something hidden away beneath the stones of the creek bed. I struggle to find words to accurately describe it, it was metallicly reflective and shiny, yet simultaneously crystalline and transparent. The anomalous object seemed to opaque irradiate light from within itself. While I could attempt to describe the shape of the object, the ripples of the surface distorted it too much.

As I was studying it when Claire had stopped by to ask me about something, [I was asking about when we would start working on form for that forcing session.] When I finished answering her I looked back at the creek bed to observe the object again, however it had disappeared and did not reappear for the rest of the session.

During the following forcing session I spied the object again beneath the rocks of the creek bed. Claire stopped by again, and I inquired if she knew what the object was. After being told that she did not I waded in to retrieve the anomaly.

The moment I pulled it out of the water I was unable to see a thing. My "mind's eye" was blinded by forceful opaque light. When I say forceful, I mean the light was impacting against my person and pushing me away. I struggled blindly toward Claire's shouting voice, to where I assumed the shore was.

Once I reached land I dropped to the ground and rolled onto my back and released the object from my grasp. I'm not sure how, but I knew it didn't fall to the ground and instead floated in mid-air. I forced the object skyward, the same way I would force an object into existence, and pushed it as far as into the sky as the moon.

I mention this fact of the moon because, while I had waded into the creek at mid afternoon, time had at some point accelerated to past midnight.

At that distance it was still too bright to gaze upon. Realizing this I willed the object to equal distance as the sun's orbit (My wonderland uses a Ptolemaic system). Despite even THIS distance the object was far too bright to look at. I finally pushed the object to what I imagine to be the edge of the solar system, from that distance Claire and I were able to observe it. Additionally, the light from the anomaly was illuminating our wonderland as if the sun were out.

I had no solid idea of what this object represents in my mind, but I did know that it is some kind of symbolism. Afterward I was truly awe struck, though those words are insufficient to describe the feelings in my mind.

The current theory that Claire and I have is that this object is what my mind perceives the Christian concept of salvation to be. It is still out there just beyond the wonderland's solar system, still shinning as bright... if not brighter. I am still in wonder of this... mental artifact.



The final topic I wish to discuss my theory about in detail is that of "The Shadow". While I am not especially well versed about this entity, I still have my conceptions regarding it.

To delve into my history for a third time, when I was younger I was much more violent, blood thirsty, and vicious. I have a distinct memory of reveling delightfully in mutilating the corpses of NPCs in Half-Life with a crowbar at a young age.

In time I somehow consciously "discovered" a second personality, a more logical, dutiful, religious, laid back, peaceful personality. I would have to describe what followed as an inner power struggle between the two. The second personality won out in the end, and imprisoned the bloodthirsty-darker personality in the back of my mind and gave it the title "The Hound of Darkness". I have since used this nickname for my internet alias so as not to forget about him.

The title, "The Hound of Darkness" is not an exclusive one, prior to the imprisonment I had used the term when talking to myself about the fallen nature of man.

What I am about to say is not me saying that I am sinless, all have sinned and come short and that includes myself. But it is my hypothesis that this "Shadow" is an avatar of this sinful/tainted nature.



I will be providing transcribe versions of Claire's creation stage personality sheet, sometime soon. Until then I wouldn't mind hearing any thoughts you have on my venture.